A Day Out.

I was told that Julia’s funeral was going to be a simple affair, which was quite a relief actually because Ady and I weren’t sure if we should let the girls come with us.

Charlotte said she didn’t mind not going and Steph stamped her foot a few times saying that it’s not fair cos we never let her go to funerals, so we decided that they could come.

This would be their first funeral, and a nice one to go to for the first time. Not too solemn and dark if you know what I mean.

So, I got my sat nav and blu tac all ready, and just to make sure, I printed off the directions from the AA route finder, bought us some journey sweets, phoned the girls school to get them the day off, made sure Ady had his piss bag things ready and a spare set of clothes, and off we went on our day trip out (we don’t go out often).

I was really chuffed, cos I had managed to get us there without getting lost !

The funeral itself was really nice and certainly good for the girls first one.

Ady told them that it would good practice for his.

 They played Status Quo as we walked in and when we left, because she was a Kylie Monogue fan, so Ady’s just shouted from the kitchen, sily arse.

I’m getting Charlotte to type this for me while I dictate to her, thinking it will be easier but i’ve got Ady shouting additions to this blog which is really off putting.

I brought my finest singing voice with me (which reminds me, I must talk about my choir at some point!) Ady, again has shouted “your choir’s got nothing to do with my cancer! Why the bloody hell do people want to know about that? It’s all me, me, me and me.” Charlotte and I have just told him that we are bored of his cancer now...that’s old news...

Any way, we sang All Things Bright And Beautiful, which I have to say, is an octave too high for me. So luckily we sang Jerusalem which is much more with in my vocal range!

At the end of the service, we were given a piece of paper with directions to go to a pub for cucumber sandwiches and a cup of tea. Ady’s brother Dave had come to the funeral too, and had got himself wedged in a car parking space where the only way to get out was to drive over somebody’s grave. So he had to wait until someone else moved their car so he could follow us to the pub.

Now the problem with me, is that I always think that I know where I’m going, when actually I haven’t got a clue. We were going to wait and follow someone who actually knew where they were going but Dave had got out of his space and was waiting behind us so I decided to just go and find the pub. It couldn’t have been that difficult?

Ady was reading the directions and frankly he’s crap at doing that and sent me the wrong way. The next minute we found ourselves in some bloody one way system in the middle of poxy Cheltenham. What a bloody place that is!

Normally, you would expect a one way system to go around in a sort of circle..not this one, it seemed to snake everywhere and all the signs are upon you before you have time to get in the correct lane (assuming you know where you are going in the first place).

So I had the girls in the back moaning “Muuuum, do you know the way? How far it is to the pub?” and Ady sitting next to me saying, well shouting actually “If you had listened to me and turned at the roundabout when I said, we wouldn’t be in this fecking one way system woman....you want the left hand lane...THE LEFT HAND ONE!!” and of course Dave was following merrily behind us.

Tony (Julia’s dad) then rang to ask us if we had gone home to which Ady replied that we were going round and round in circles on some bloody one way system in the middle of Cheltenham. Good old Tony talked us all the way out of the one way system and to the pub.

I tell you, nothing we ever do can go without a hitch !!

Ady coped very well throughout the day and the cucumber sandwiches bit was filled with laughter and jokes..just the way Julia would have wanted it.

So there we have it...I won’t be rushing off to Cheltenham again in a hurry cos it’s full of roads that go in the wrong direction that you want to go, and one way systems!