Tuesday 4 October 2011

C'est La Vie

Last Saturday, Ady invited our friends round for the evening. We usually do this once every so often and we play cards or Tripoli and eat take aways, oh and drink plenty! This Saturday was no different and there were plenty of laughs and jokes about Ady’s bag situation, wind problems and the rest. It was really nice to see him doing real belly laughs towards the end of the evening when he demonstrated his wind problem, blaming it on the small bite of hot ‘n’ spicy chicken wings he had earlier!...toilet humour, that one!, but it was a brilliant relaxed evening as usual.

Ady didn’t drink that evening, in fact he doesn’t drink at all really, it would play havoc with his tubes!
On the Sunday morning, I got up early to get some jobs done before everyone else and I heard a thud upstairs. I assumed it was Charlotte because she can be quite heavy footed, so thought nothing of it.
Ady then came downstairs and said “Didn’t you hear me?”
“What?” I said,
 “Well Ive just fallen out of bed!”
“What did you do that for?” I asked. It turns out that he was having a dream about trying to punch someone, or grab them, he can’t remember. So we went to punch/grab them and did the physical movement in his sleep and promptly fell on the floor, landing on his night bag stand and breaking it!
So now the night bag is taped up with masking tape to hold it together. “Never mind” I said, “You only have a few days left of your bag, so we will have to make it last”.

When the letter came about removing the catheter on Tuesday, I can’t remember if I told you that I thought ‘great, in hospital by 8.30, catheter out and home by about 9.30. Well, the letter said that we have to stay there until about 1pm *yawn*. So, I spent most of Sunday trying to get people to cover my work on Tuesday. Brian (A man I look after) needed a shower that morning cos he was having his haircut and I needed my lunch duty covered at school. Lunch cover was no problem, but no one could cover Brian, so I planned that I would shower him at about 6.30 in the morning, pick the girls and Ady up at 7.30, no later, and they were to be ready and waiting with bags, lunches, dance stuff, p e stuff (which I would make sure is organised, they just need to remember to pick it up) for me on the pavement so we could drive straight off, drop the girls at school and go on to the hospital amongst the morning rush hour traffic to be there and parked for 8.30.
A bit of a squeeze, but doable if I get up about 5am.

On Monday morning,Ady  had a doctors appointment, so I was up and pottering about early, doing packed lunches and drinking coffee. Ady called me from the bedroom. I went upstairs to see what he wanted.
 He had left the night bag tap on open, and had  bloody well pissed all over the floor! It was everywhere. He even dipped the duvet in it!
The girls were in the middle of getting up and using the bathroom and Ady was standing there with piss bag in one hand and sopping towels in the other. Oh. Dear. God.
I cleaned it up as best I could and told Ady to sort his bags out and get dressed ready for me to pick him up after the school run and I would deal with the rest of the piss on the floor problem later because he can’t run around with mops and buckets in his condition and I didn’t have time there and then.
“Don’t worry” I said, “Its coming out tomorrow!”
We went off to the doctors and had a good chat with him about the goings ons and wotnots. Our GP was only too pleased to give Ady his prescribed Cialis.
 Ady chuckles that this is what the medics seem most concerned about! The bad news is Ady, that you have cancer, but fear not, the good news is, you can still have a shag....We picked up the tablets, all eight of them, and noticed that they expire in 2014.....”They should last you” I smiled.
Ady said “Do they not understand that I have had cancer twice resulting in 2 major surgeries within a year and that getting my leg over is not on the top of my list of priorities?”
We had a good chat about it and decided that for some men, it must be a ‘man’ thing. For Ady, he just wants rid of the cancer and is happy to be alive. Which reminds me, we mustn’t forget to worry about the forthcoming CT scan for the bowel cancer!
Ady worries that because he is concentrating on the prostate cancer, that the bowel cancer is going to sneak up and bite him on the arse when he least expects it.
I think, blimey, look at all that time we haven’t given the bowel cancer much thought, it just shows you how worrying achieves nothing....but sometimes, of course,  you just can’t help it.

Yesterday, I was cooking tea for us all, a roast as it happens, kindly bought by Mary when she did me a Tesco shop last week.
Ady was having a sleep, and the girls were on their way home from school. I was making the apple crumble, thinking to myself, wow, I am such a good cook, they are going to enjoy this dinner, when the phone rang. It was the uro nurse. Let’s call her  Sam ...
“Hi Emma It’s Sam from the hospital”
Oh hi Sam, how are you?”
I’m fine thanks.....erm...” small silence...
“Hmmm,are you phoning to cancel tomorrow?”
“Erm,......yes”
I laughed.
It turns out that the doctor who did the cystogram thingy last Thursday and said it was fine with no leaks, showed it to another doctor a few days later, who said it was not fine and there is a small leak. So they then spoke to our surgeon who said to keep the catheter in for another week and then take it out.
Ady is wandering around saying “This isn’t natural, having a bloody tube coming out of the end of your willy...just not normal at all”

We are Emma, Ady, Charlotte and Stephanie and we live at,

Prostateless avenue
FrustrationLane,
PissInTheBagAndNotOnMyFloor
WishTheyWouldMakeTheirMindsUp
WhereAreTheGoddamnBenefits
Illegitimi non carborundum



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