Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Snorkels and Flippers.

The day finally arrived for Ady to have his catheter removed.
Charlotte asked me today “mummy, what is the name of dad’s piss bag? Because when people ask me how he is, I don’t know what it’s really called”..bless her. Ady piped up, and said “It doesn’t matter anymore, cos I haven’t got a piss bag, i’ve got a piss pad now”....flamin ‘eck lol.

Anyway, I got Brian up at the first sparrows fart, sorted the girls out for school, organised Ady and off we went. Dropped the girls off and went on to the hospital for 8.30, not knowing really what time we were supposed to be there.
We had our letter with the bar code, so we were able to zap ourselves in on the machine. We then took our seats, ready for the long haul wait. About 10 minutes later, Adys name went up on the screen telling him to go to zone two! Bloody hell, we thought, that was quick, and off we went. We sat down in zone 2 and then we were called to sub zone b or something, so a few more corridors later, we were at the catheter removal department.
Here we finally met Annie. Now, I need to say that earlier in my blog somewhere, I think I was a bit negative about her and thought she had a bit of a vacant, harassed and uncaring attitude. Well, I take all of my words back because she was lovely. She was good at her job, efficient, reassuring and caring.
She did ask me if I thought she was a bit off and vacant when we spoke on the phone about Ady’s scan thing being clear. I told her that I have to be honest since she has asked and yes, I did think she was a bit of a miserable old bag. ..well, she did ask......
Annie laughed and apologised. She explained that by the time we had got home from the scan and rung her to say it was all clear, the scan doctor had got another doctor to look at it, who wasn’t happy and they sent it to the surgeon who said there is a leak and to keep the catheter in for another week. Annie, had just got off the phone to the surgeon and answered the phone to me saying it was clear. She was very confused and wondered if she had got things muddled, which was why she was the way she was with me on the phone.
I do like a bit of upfrontness and honesty sometimes. It usually clears up misunderstandings that can happen, don’t you think? J
Annie explained what she was going to do and got a bottle ready in the toilet, with his name on to piddle in. He then had to take his bottoms off and put some net knickers on and a pad. We are not talking a small pad here, but a big bugger that goes all the way up the front and back!
Ady being typical Ady, squidged the pad in his new knickers so the whole thing was creased and wrinkled and half inside out. He stood there quite happy with himself and me and Annie just looked at eachother. “For goodness sake Ady, you’re not at the farmyard now!” Me and Annie straightened him up to look much more presentable and Ady just chuckled.
I told him how he can now know what it feels like to have a period and what us women go through each month.
Ady laid on the bed and while they were chatting, Annie removed the catheter. Ady said that he felt a slight burning sensation, but it wasn’t too bad (personally, I would have probably screamed).
We then had to go off and he had to drink 2 bottles of water and a coffee in the cafe before coming back for a piddle test.
Before we went for our drinks, Annie was looking through Ady’s notes. I asked her if the pathology report was in there. She said she wasn’t sure and I said what a shame it was cos I would love to have a copy and explained about the onco letter. She said she would have a look. I wasn’t very hopeful that I would get it.
We wandered off down the corridor, and as we were walking, Ady was saying (not very quietly) bloody hell, I can feel that I am pissing myself...christ, it just keeps coming out!!
“Do we need to buy flippers and a snorkel on the way home?” I said
“Ooh, I dunno Em, we might need something if this carries on!”
We got to the restaurant and sat down with a coffee. The nurse told Ady that when he is sitting or lying down, he will possibly be OK, but as soon as he gets up, he won’t be. She was absolutely correct, and Ady stopped piddling when he sat down.
We drank our drinks and wandered back to Annie. The moment he stood up, Ady announced in the restaurant that he was pissing himself again but it was OK because he was managing to hold it he thought. He wasn’t sure, cos everything was a bit wet down there, but he was doing his best. I said to him “Just hold that piss and let’s get you to a loo”. We went out of the restaurant, not really caring that we had probably put most people off their breakfast, sod it, we were having a crisis!

Ady managed to get back to Annie’s loo, whip his trousers, pad and net knickers down, and with piddle leaking everywhere, managed to get some in the bottle....on the floor, down his trousers, on his hands and on my hands....I don’t know why, but we found it all rather funny!
Annie scanned Ady’s  bladder and said he hadn’t emptied it enough and it was still half full, so he went and emptied it some more. While he was in the loo, she gave me the pathology report!
We were told by the other uro nurse that Ady was a stage 3 with a positive margin and nothing to worry about and that we would be seeing the onco to discuss Radicals trials. The actual report gives a slightly different story however. You might want google here, if you are interested, but here is what the main parts of the report said:
Gleason score: 3+4=7
Tumour size:22 x 18 (horizontal)
Surgical margins:
Urethral: clear
Circumferential: involved (3mm diameter) posteriorly and on the left.
Bladder neck: clear
Extracapsular tumour: present 4mm in diameter, 2mm depth left seminal vesicle.
No nodes taken.
Invasive prostatic adenocarcinoma
Gleason score 7
Stage pT3b
Surgical margin: Positive

I gather that if the nodes are found to contain cancer cells, then he is a stage 4. There is no stage 5.

We have lots of questions for the surgeon and the oncologist. Even though we were not happy about getting the onco letter, it has given us time to digest this news and prepare questions. Something we wouldn’t have been able to do if we hadn’t got the letter, so every cloud ‘n’ all that!

Meanwhile, Ady is wandering around the house with his pad and tracky bottoms on, asking if his bum looks big in this. I have told him, that a fat arse, will look fat in anything. We all have to check with him before going to the loo because you can bet that as soon as you sit down, he will start shouting “ Loo...Loo, I need a piss, get out of the loo before I piss myself!”while he is banging on the door.
We have been warned that Ady has to be pissing himself in a serious way to qualify for free piss pads. I have warned them back, that I have the mobile number of the chief exec of the PCT and I am not afraid to use it lol
I won’t shout too loudly, but Ady managed a piss free night last night, even though he was wearing Boots pull-ups and I had put bin liners under the sheet. Hopefully, he will improve with each day and I won’t need to ring the PCT. Everything is a bloody battle in this game.!
The operation has made Ady’s willy as dead as a dodo and has visibly shortened in length. He says that wearing a pad is like being in a grow bag, and he says that you never know, with any luck,his willy might grow back to its original length. I tell him that his urethra is in the bin and it’s never gonna grow again.

Our cancer bus journey has turned into a roller coaster ride. Not just any old roller coaster, but one of those big bugger American ones!

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