We had our appointment to see the urology nurse yesterday. She is lovely and says it as it is.
Now, Ady and I thought we were going there to discuss how he is getting on in the piss department and sure enough, we had a great chat about it and she is very pleased that he is doing so well, still pissing himself a bit, but doing well nonetheless.
We had a good chat about the radiotherapy and the Radicals trial, which is a whole another blogs worth when I get a minute, cos I need to do a blog about the boys trip to London to go on ITV This Morning programme in between lying down in a darkened room with a flannel on my head, trying to come to terms with this latest saga!
Let me get to the point.
If you have been reading this blog all the way through, you will know that since his Radical Prostatectomy operation, Ady’s side effects have been erectile dysfunction amongst other things. My headaches had completely disappeared ...my cloud had a little silver lining.
Can you bloody well believe it, that bloody uro nurse has gone and told Ady that he has to do penile rehabilitation twice a week...bloody well TWICE !!!
So when I said that she was lovely at the beginning..well, I was joking! Just when I was happy with my sex life, she has to go and ruin it!
The woman who usually does the ‘sex clinic’, I spose that’s what you call it, I dunno, is retiring in December and our uro nurse is taking that job on, so she wants to see us when she is doing the clinic.
First of all, she wants him to carry on taking the Cialis tablets twice weekly....THATS bad enough, but she also wants him to inject the shaft of his penis twice a week (so we are up to four times a week already!) with some stuff called Caverject.
Christ, can you imagine it, having to stick a needle in the side of your willy twice a week..*shudders*
Dear God, this is supposed to give him an instant erection lasting up to an hour...a bloody hour?!?! FFS! And if it goes on for more than an hour, then he has to get the frozen peas out...more than four hours and he needs to seek medical advice...oh Lord !!!
If he doesn’t fancy that idea, then he can have a pump..... a bloody pump FGS.
I assume he has to stick his willy in it and pump it up...i’m not sure.. and who said that romance was dead !!!
Can you imagine it, Ady running around the house with the pump in one hand and the injection in the other....Jesus, it just doesn’t bear thinking about does it!!!
Just when I thought everything was going SO well, I can now feel my headaches coming back to migranic proportions !!
Her excuse for these.. frankly, ridiculous ideas, is that if Ady doesn’t get blood flow to his willy, then the tube things that hold the blood to create an erection will sort of, become, erm, well cease up in a way and he wont be able to get a full erection again. Personally, I don’t see a problem with that at all.
My suggestion of putting a small band on the base of his willy, to stop the flow completely and treating it like a sheeps’ tail, got me left out of the rest of the conversation!..cheeky buggers. Although she did start mentioning self stimulation which made us chuckle a bit.
Ady has decided that he doesn’t really like the idea of injecting himself and will probably go with the pump.
I quickly reminded him of the time when I had just given birth to Charlotte (5 weeks early) and she didn’t have her suckling reflex yet, so we were expressing my milk to feed to her out of a pill pot. I was attached to an electric machine. Everyone was quiet in the ward, either sleeping or enjoying their babies or with visitors, when Ady walked in, saw me rigged up to this machine which was making a vacuum noise, he roared with laughter up and down the ward and yelled, “Bloody hell Em, you sound like a cow in a milking parlour...Christ, I could slap a sticker on your arse and send you up the market!”
So actually, I can’t wait until he gets his pump !!
We are Emma, Ady, Charlotte and Stephanie and we live at: