I am a bit embarrassed to mention this, but Ady loves model railways, so much so, that he has a whole railway thing going on in the loft. His cousin, a friend and one of our neighbours are also into them. Thankfully,they're not train spotters and none of them own a note pad, pen, or mac !!
Every year, there is some model railway exhibition at Lemington Spa. Ady's cousin has come to stay at ours for a couple of nights, and they all went off on their day out....sad gits !!
That left me at home with the girls. Both girls had arranged to meet friends in town, so I decided it was a good opportunity to crack on with some house work and get the washing up to date.
I find house work a complete waste of time tbh, I hate doing it, but love it when it is done. For those of you who do bother with house work, you know how you get stuck in and you find yourself lost in your own thoughts, and just thinking about 'stuff', well that happened to me today, and I got thinking about all the stuff that has been going on recently, and all the little bits I want to blog about but haven't yet....
It's interesting how different people react when cancer directly affects them. For me personally, it is as if it is happening to a lady called Emma who is living a parallel life to me. She has a husband called Ady who has been diagnosed with two different cancers within a year and two children called Charlotte and Stephanie. Sometimes, when I read her blog, I think, bloody hell, poor cow, and at others, I smile and think , she's got a funny sense of humor, but I always realise in the end, that this is ME typing this, and I am Emma, with Ady, Charlotte and Stephanie...
I like living in my parallel world, and I live in it as much as I can, but sometimes, I get jolted back into reality.
I remember when Ady was diagnosed with colon cancer, and I phoned Macmillan up because I didn't know what else to do, or who to talk to and where to get advice.
They were absolutely brilliant ! They were kind and understanding. They listened to me and let me cry on the phone to them. They totally 'got it' and sent me lots of booklets to read through. I said to the man I was speaking to (he sounded rather handsome), that I was sorry, but I couldn't afford a donation, but as soon as we were back on track, I would, as I have always supported them. He said to me that he didn't want a donation at all, and that this time, I needed them, and they were there for me, thanks to other peoples donations. The realisation that I needed them and they didn't need me was a bit of a jolt into reality !
I have a lovely friend called Sally whom I have known for years. Steph was a very poorly baby and Sally used to come around every Wednesday afternoon (without my asking, she just 'knew') to help me with Steph. Sally doesn't realise how much she helped me back then. Just to have someone else to hold and comfort Steph while I had a break was a Godsend.
Sally heard about Ady and promptly contacted me.There is a place in our town called The Pickering Centre. It is a little known charity for cancer patients and their families and Sally happens to volunteer there on a Friday afternoon. She gave me a leaflet, and suggested that I came along for a cup of tea. Ady and the girls could come too of course.
So a few weeks later, I was shopping in town, and decided to pop along and say hello to Sally. I rang the bell and a lady answered the door. She was lovely...really lovely. Sally was not there, but she invited me in and we had a nice chat about what they do. They could offer all of us pretty much anything we want. Ady could have a massage on his back (which hurts), Steph could have her nails done, Charlotte could have some Reiki and I could have what ever I wanted. All free of charge !!!!
They said that the girls could have counselling if they wanted it...whatever it is, they can offer it or get it sorted. We can pop in for a cup of tea and a chat at any time.
Me being me, immediately started thinking about fundraising for this brilliant charity, and started chatting to the lady about what I could do to help. I was getting quite excited with all the different ideas that were coming into my head and spilling out of my mouth, when she stopped me and said, "No Emma, we are here for you, you are not here for us. Let us worry about fund raising, and you make use of our services"..well, bugger me, there I was, shot back into reality again ! One minute I was there, thinking about how I can help these poor people and their families, and the next, I WAS these poor people and their families !
She did say that I could do some fund raising later on if I so wished....yes I do wish.
Now, for surgery on Wednesday (not long now), I did ask the onco nurse if the surgeon would be good enough to take some pictures of the surgery so I can put them on my blog. She thinks he might be up for that so I must remember to pack the camera in Adys bag. Blimey, can you imagine all the picture opportunities there will be. I hope he takes a pic of the offending prostate in a dish...I spose it's the closest you will get to having someones balls on a plate anyway...
Charlotte and I were chatting the other day about school. She was telling me about her new teachers and that in English, they are doing horror stories and movies. The teacher asked some of them all to name a horror movie they had watched. She went around the class, and they were saying things like Twilight and Holes. She got to Charlotte, and she said News at Ten.....hmm, perhaps teaching her about Saddam Hussein and 9/11 when she was younger was a bit eager on my part.
She also said that she was struggling a bit in IT lessons, and asked me what I did in IT at school. She now thinks I am something out of the Ark, cos I told her they hadn't invented computers then...
When I started this blog, Ady had a look as he was passing and said to me, "What are you going to write if I die?", so I said "well, The End, of course".
We both agreed that it is fine for us to laugh and joke our way through this...it's how we cope, but if they tell Ady that he is going to die, then we wont laugh any more I don't expect.
I really must get on with these bloody benefits. I've nearly finished the 51 page form, luckily, the next one is only 31 pages....