This morning, the girls wanted Ady to take them to school, so while he did that, I stayed at home and phoned the bed lady to see what was happening and what time did they want us there.
She told me that all the surgeons were having some sort of meeting and that surgery would be starting late. She couldn’t give me any idea of times or anything, just to keep him nil by mouth and they will ring.
It got to about 10 o’clock and I started thinking to myself that the onco nurse said Mr D will be wanting to do Ady’s surgery at about 10.30. I was worried that he will turn up after the meeting and ask where his patient was. Ady had gone to bed to try and sleep away the anxiety and I phoned the bed lady again.
Another lady answered the phone and was really lovely. She explained that this meeting was a one off and not to expect a call until after lunch and surgery won’t happen until this evening, if at all, as they were completely full up with beds!
Poor, poor, Ady. He started getting very anxious and was saying how bloody unfair this is.
The waiting and not knowing is an absolute killer. The stress of it all is taking its toll on Ady and he started looking very washed out.
My hair is falling out so much atm that when I shower the water can’t drain down the plug until I clear handfuls of it out !
My other worry was that he had been nil by mouth since last night and that he is a diabetic. My friend Sal reassured me that he will be fine.
I did all the housework, and was just about to start cleaning the cupboards out ( well, you need something to do when you are waiting for something to happen that you don’t want happening at all !) and it was the bed lady asking us to come in !!
What a relief that was I can tell you !!
So, off we went in the car, aware that I had to be back by 3 to pick the girls up from school. Yesterdays plans had now gone out of the window !
We arrived at the hospital at 1.30 and was seen by a nurse who went through medication and wotnot, and then the anaesthetist came and spoke to Ady and explained about pain relief and all the options what he thought was best. They talked about his last epidural which was a bit of a disaster and the guy was brilliant and explained why it was a disaster and how he will try and make sure it isn’t this time. He reassured Ady that he would be on standby to give morphine if it was and not leave him in pain.
Then, along came Mr D the surgeon with a lovely Irish accent.
He explained how he would try and do keyhole surgery, and if not then he would do open surgery there and then.
He explained the reasons why keyhole may not work, and spoke about his previous surgery and the organs sticking together and not getting a clear view.
He then looked at Ady’s scar and said that it is right where he wants to go in...bugger !
The colon cancer surgery is very close to where he wants to get to the prostate and there is a possibility that it may be a bit like cutting through concrete, what with all the scar tissue in the way and he may not be able to remove the prostate at all. He also said that if he has any concerns about joining the urethra back to the bladder, then he will just close him back up, leaving the prostate in and offer radiotherapy.
He told me that surgery usually takes a couple of hours, but said that I was not to worry if it was getting to 7 tonight and I hadn’t heard as he would still be in surgery. This would possibly not be a straightforward operation but he will ring as soon as he has finished.
He then looked up and down the ward thing we were in to make sure no one was near, leant forward to Ady and said “How are your erections?”
Ady said “They are great thanks”
He said “Well, then won’t be any more”
Ady said it wasn’t a problem and I said that I felt me headaches easing up already.
I left Ady at half two this afternoon and went to get the girls from school.
We have had tea, the girls have showered and bags packed ready for school tomorrow and homework done.
Will he have keyhole?
Will it be open surgery?
Will his insides be like concrete?
Will he be able to remove the cancer?
So many questions, but me and the girls are here, waiting for that call.
Christ I feel bloody sick and the girls are all ready and waiting to go and see their daddy.
They have only asked once when we are going to go...I wish I could answer them, but I spose on the up side, the longer the wait for the phone call, the more likely the prostate is coming out...but also the more likely it is open surgery,...or the more likely there are problems.....I feel like crying but I mustn’t crumble now.