Friday, 16 September 2011

Tubes and Toes

The girls went to bed quite early last night, without my telling them to, cos they were so tired !
Ady and I went off to bed not long after and I got his night bag, along with the stand ready to attach to his day bag.
He got into bed and I plumbed him in. When I collected him from the hospital yesterday, the nurse who was discharging him said “I have attached his catheter and the other nurses think he should have one with a longer tube on, but I don’t think he needs it”. Ady was sitting in the chair at the time and I didn’t look at the tube myself, I trusted that she knew what she was doing and as it has been a few years since I have fiddled with catheters, I trusted her judgement.
Well, blimey noras, blow me down, yes, the tube was VERY short ! There was hardly any length of tube from the end of his willy to the bag !
I managed to plumb him in, and told him not to move too much in the night because with this whole tubing business, there is not much room for manoeuvre. He kept asking if I was doing it right and were the taps on and off and was I SURE I knew what I was doing. “Of course I do” I said “they are a bit better made that when I used to do them for people, but they are no different and it isn’t rocket science” and with that, I turned the light off and got into bed.
Two minutes later, he said “Oh my God, what’s this in my’s a tube that has come away I think”
I said, “Oh for goodness sake” and got out of bed, turned the light on and he handed me the cap bit that you remove so you can connect the night bag to the day bag. During the day, you pop it on the end of the tube when you have washed the night bag through to stop bacteria creeping in.
I took it away from him and put it on the side and we finally went to sleep.
It just so happens, that one of our neighbours works with the district nurses that are attached to our GP. She is lovely and has said to me that if there is anything we need, just text or pop round and she will sort it. So I sent her a text in the morning asking her if she had a spare day bag with a decent length of tubing. Within 15 minutes, she was at my door with an array of bags ! That’s service for you and she hadn’t even started work yet !
I de plumbed Ady and emptied his bag and thought I would wash it through when I get back from the school run. I will also put the longer  day bag on and get into some sort of routine.

Ady was asleep on the sofa when I got home, so I thought I would rinse out the night bag. I did that and went into the bedroom to get the cap that caused him so much concern last night to put on the end of the tube.
There is a step down and another step up to go from the bedroom to the landing. Sometimes I will step down and then up and other times I will stretch across, missing the down step. Today, I stretched across to miss the down bit, but I didn’t stretch quite far enough, completely missing my footing. I went down like a sack of shit, smashed my toe on the step and as I went down, I smashed my shin on the edge of the step and walloped my head on the hamster’s cage. My glasses flew across the landing along with the bloody cap (sodding thing!).
I screamed, yelped and swore. I thought bloody hell, I have broken my leg. Then I thought, bloody hell, my head is bleeding. Then I thought, bloody hell, I’ve broken my toe!
I made such a drama and commotion about it all that it woke Ady and the hamster up.
He came rushing as fast as he could to see what had happened and if I was OK and I stayed lying on the floor, not able to move cos the thought of all my broken bones and gushing blood was making me feel faint ! I can happily nurse anyone, but not myself!
Ady stood by me saying “Bloody hell woman, you can’t be hurt, who is going to look after me”
I said “Can’t you see that I have broken all my bones and blood is gushing everywhere?”
“Erm, no” he said, so I checked the floor for blood and my limbs for broken bones and thought to myself, hmm, no, I spose he’s right .
My toe, leg and head really hurt, so I looked in the mirror to see that I have cut my head up by the hair line and I can feel a bruise coming down my forehead. My leg is bruised all up my shin and my toe next to my big toe is swollen and numb, although it is tingling now.
I wonder if my toe might be broken, but my pain threshold is nil, so it is probably bruised.
So today, we have been looking after each other.
I met with the girls after school today as they need some new underwear. While we were in the queue, they asked me why I was limping, so I told them what had happened, and they roared with laughter all over the shop...little buggers, no sympathy there then !

I am sure I need a plaster cast for my toe, but nobody else does. Mind you, I was sure I needed an ambulance earlier too...I have spent all day hobbling my best hobble and not getting much sympathy at all !


  1. I laughed too but only because you tell 'em so well :) Bet you're bloody sore. I think the carer needs a carer :)

  2. SAL, I need sympathy woman....sympathy !!! :D

  3. Tell Ady that, if he dies, WTF are we all to do for any entertainment on a Friday night? LOL

  4. Am I not enough entertainment for you alone?? LOL